I started out coaching married individuals with a spouse that had "checked out" and wasn't interested in working on things. Through that process, I found that the typical approach of working on the marriage was all wrong, because I was able to create complete marriage transformations by
. This is a radically new approach to drastically improving your marriage (that doesn't rely on waiting for your spouse to change).
And I'm going to show you how to do it simply by:
Taking Personal Responsibility to start creating the change you want to see, with or without your spouse's acknowledgment that things need to change. This changed everything for me and my marriage 7 years ago.
My marriage, 7 years ago:
I loved my wife. I thought the world of her. But I secretly kind of hated her. I was hurt and resentful of feeling like my needs didn't matter, my happiness wasn't important, constantly being torn down, everything and everyone else being more of a priority than me, and not valued or appreciated for anything I did. My wife felt unhappy, guilty for constantly feeling disappointed and even disgusted by me, like I didn't listen to her or her feelings didn't matter to me, and ultimately unfulfilled by our marriage.
We were often distant like we were just roommates, and at times things got pretty toxic with lots of arguing over the smallest things and mean, critical words said.
In a nutshell, we both felt hurt, frustrated, disconnected, and angry with each other.
I finally feel and can see that my wife thinks highly of me. I feel appreciated for what I do and valued for who I am. She believes in me and encourages me. My wife finally feels heard, instead of over-powered, like she's free of being suffocated by me constantly needing things from her, has that attraction from when we were dating back, and the sense of fulfillment she'd longed for.
We're deeply passionate for each other and have peace instead of resentment in our home. I can't remember the last time we had an argument that lasted more than 15 minutes or went more than a couple hours without being affectionate towards each other.
I did something so simple it's hard to believe. I stopped pointing the finger blaming my spouse and started taking personal responsibility to create the change.
The result? A marriage that's everything I dreamed it could be.
Since then, we both feel acknowledged, all of our hurts are quickly resolved, we're more in love than ever (even with four young kids), both our needs are met, there's passion and our sex life has never been better!
My latest book, It Starts With You, reveals every step of the process.
Inside, I'll share the secret to both getting your needs met and resolving past hurts that I use to get both spouses feeling appreciated with no more resentment or anger toward each other.
I'll also share how I rebuild attraction and love without feeling like "work."
The book also includes case studies of couples I helped coach to transform their marriages detailing the problems they faced and how we conquered them, challenges I faced in my own marriage, as well as raw, unfiltered truth about what causes strain in marriage, and many more lessons that you can put into practice starting TODAY to re-ignite the spark and remove that emotional distance or toxicity in your marriage.
I wrote this book to help you heal and elevate your marriage by getting your spouse to acknowledge the problems, care about solving them, and be invested in your marriage's success.
And if you want more intimacy (both emotional & physical), past hurts resolved, or more peace in your home, It Starts With You can become your step-by-step guide to accomplishing that, rather than ending up divorced or in a marriage that makes you miserable.
This is the very first time I've revealed many of the methods I have used to create a passionate marriage and peaceful home. You’ll only find them in this book, It Starts With You.
At 148 pages, it only takes an afternoon to read but will be the best few hours you ever spend to create a marriage with more joy and harmony.